


Do you want to talk about it? (revised)

by I_love_my_cats



Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: Confession??, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, I Tried, I dont know how to write, I literally havent written anything in 5 years so its bad, M/M, Mayoi cuddling Tatsumi :), Sharing a Bed, Tatsumi angst, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i think..., mentions of giving up/defeat? idk that may be triggering so I want to tag it :(, they cuddle, theyre cute, theyre so in love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-06
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:41:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28596363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/I_love_my_cats/pseuds/I_love_my_cats
Summary: Mayoi was sensitive to negative emotions in others, and he could tell something was off about Tatsumi. His trade-mark, gentle, caring smile was replaced with a flat, apathetic frown, and his usual posture was slightly sunken and collapsed. Tatsumi usually seemed quite comfortable being around Mayoi, (Mayoi never understood this), but now he seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else. Mayoi must have looked at Tatsumi for a little bittoolong, trying to figure out exactly what Tatsumi was feeling and why, because he noticed that Mayoi noticed, and tried to cover it up with an obviously fake smile.
Relationships: Ayase Mayoi/Kazehaya Tatsumi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 39





	Do you want to talk about it? (revised)

**Author's Note:**

> HI!! THIS IS MY FIRST TIME WRITING A FIC SINCE I WROTE A SHREK FAN FICTION WHEN I WAS 13!! I also have not read a proper book in like 3 years LMAO. so my writing is super duper bad >< if I keep writing tho I will get better :) we just have to power through these first horrendous fics ewyfuwhfyuewhfuejfe98jfuiheuiww
> 
> Edit: I CAME BACK AND REVISED IT

It had to be around 4PM when Mayoi returned to his units dorm. Just like Aira before him, and Hiiro before Aira, It was now Mayois responsibility tonight to make dinner for everyone, so he was out buying the necessary ingredients. He was looking forward to being back in the safety of his home, as he felt like he was on the verge of having a panic attack while at the grocery store, but instead of the expected wave of relief falling over him when he opened the door, his anxiety only peaked again; The dorm was unusually dark for this time of day, usually everyone would be sitting around goofing off or playing games while waiting for dinner, Instead; mayoi was met with complete silence. Immediately his thoughts went from, _what if I took too long and they all went out to dinner without me?_ to an astonishing; _what if they’re all dead!?_

“Mayoi-san?” Tatsumi called out from somewhere within the darkness of their dorm.

“Hii-!” Mayoi let out a frightened cry, his mind told him just a second ago he was completely alone, so this sudden braking of that fact startled him.

“Ah i’m sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Tatsumi started walking to meet Mayoi in their tiny kitchenette. 

“No no! I’m sorry! I got worried! I didn’t think anyone was home…” Mayoi set his bags down onto the counter.

“Aira apparently left something at school so he and Hiiro went to get it. They just left so it will probably be a while until they get back.” 

Mayoi was sensitive to negative emotions in others, and he could tell something was off about Tatsumi. His trade-mark, gentle, caring smile was replaced with a flat, apathetic frown, and his usual posture was slightly sunken and collapsed. Tatsumi usually seemed quite comfortable being around Mayoi, (Mayoi never understood this), but now he seemed like he’d rather be anywhere else. Mayoi must have looked at Tatsumi for a little bit _too_ long, trying to figure out exactly what Tatsumi was feeling and why, because he noticed that Mayoi noticed, and tried to cover it up with an obviously fake smile. 

“So looks like it’s just you and me tonight, Mayoi-san.” 

Tatsumi saying that seemed to break Mayoi from his trance.

“R-right…” 

“...”

The silence between them was deafening. Mayoi wanted so desperately to speak up and ask what was going on but it seemingly took him a while to find the right words.

“Are you ok?” Mayoi finally asked. He looked at Tatsumi with furrowed brows, and eyes begging him to please speak up.

Tatsumi's face distorted into an expression Mayoi has only seen him make when his leg is hurting so bad he couldn’t get up. His mouth opened as if he was about to speak but nothing came out.

Mayoi--unsure of what to do-- reached out his arms to try and coax Tatsumi into a hug. He felt Tatsumi's arms slowly wrap around his waist, and quickly bury his head into Mayois shoulder.

Mayoi tightened his grasp around him in an attempt to comfort him, and gently rested his head on Tatsumi's shoulder in return. Tatsumi's grip on him tightened as well, and he buried himself deeper into the crook of Mayois neck. Mayoi wasn’t sure what to do… He could feel Tatsumi's heartbeat against his own chest. It was getting faster and faster, and he was taking deeper, heavier breaths. Seeing someone Mayoi cared so deeply about in such a dismal state made his heart ache. His mind was going into overload trying to think of the best way to support his unit-mate, he wondered if he was even _capable_ of being of any assistance to Tatsumi right now. 

They stayed like that for what felt like minutes. Just holding each other in their arms; Mayoi genteley running his fingers through Tatsumi's green locks. Eventually, he felt Tatsumi relax in his arms.

“Do you want to talk about it?...” Mayoi asked--his voice just above a whisper. 

Tatsumi replied with a low “mm.” His face still hidden against Mayoi. It wasn’t until Mayoi heard a small sniffle from Tatsumi that he realized his shoulder was soaked, _Was tatsumi crying?_ That realization only made Mayoi want to cry. He didn’t know what to do,  
he just allowed Tatsumi to cry in his arms, but he felt like he should be doing more, he wasn’t sure if this was enough for Tatsumi... 

Eventually, Tatsumi pulled his head away from Mayoi, leaving behind a wet stain on his T-shirt. 

“I'm sorry.” He shook his head and forced out a small chuckle in an attempt to make this all seem less-serious than it was. “It’s nothing really... I shouldn’t even be crying.” He forced a smile. It broke Mayois heart to see Tatsumi's once radiant smile seem so broken. 

Mayoi did not believe him one bit. He looked at Tatsumi with pleading eyes, encouraging him, _begging_ him, to please tell Mayoi what’s wrong. 

“I’m sorry...” Tatsumi repeated, his voice cracking. He let go of Mayoi to wipe his eyes. 

Mayoi gently grabbed Tatsumi's wrist and gingerly pulled it away from his face. Tatsumi's cheeks were stained red and his soft hair was sticking to his cheeks. His nose was runny and his mouth was contorted into an expression of pain. Mayoi looked deep into Tatsumi's radiant amethyst eyes, his own on the verge of tears. 

“Do you want to sit down?” Mayoi asked in a whisper--afraid if he applied any more force to his voice, he would start crying. Tatsumi nodded his head and allowed him to lead them over to their bunk bed, Mayois hand never letting go of Tatsumi's wrist.

They sat down together on the edge of Mayois mattress. Tatsumi felt like he could finally relax--his leg being somewhat exhausted from standing with Mayoi for so long. His head fell on Mayois shoulder as he laced their fingers together. 

"Y-you don't have to say it if you don't want to…" mayoi felt somewhat guilty asking Tatsumi to tell him what happened after he broke down in front of him. "You don't ever have to say it... but I'm always here for you, Tatsumi-san…" 

Tatsumi just stared at their intertwined fingers, slowly rubbing little circles with his thumb over the back of Mayois hand. 

After a long pause, he finally spoke up; "It's nothing really… it's just-"   
He took a deep breath as he furrowed his brows "I don’t know, I was thinking about Remei again… I hurt so many people. I've destroyed so many people's hopes and dreams... I destroyed someone who looked up to me so much. I'm a bad person, Mayoi-san." 

Mayoi wasn't sure how to respond to something like that, so he just listened and squeezed Tatsumi's hand tighter, encouraging him to keep going.

"And now I have Alkaloid and I feel like I don't deserve it. Even in Alkaloid I'm just a burden. I can't even perform properly because of my leg. You all have to work around it and I'm just…I feel like I just can't do it anymore. I have nothing else though, I spent the past few years working to become an idol, destroying so many people along the way--Maybe my leg is a sign from God that I should just stop, that it's my punishment for what I've done. I've been having thoughts of quitting or retiring, but I have nothing else. If I stop being an idol now, I won't have any direction to go, I won't have any goals or other career possibilities... Even recently I feel like I've strayed further from God and feeling that I'm not even qualified or worthy enough to be any sort of pastor…” He paused before letting go of Mayois' hand and bringing his own up to cover his face, “I just feel so trapped and I don't know what to do..." 

Tatsumi could feel tears beginning to well up again and it was getting harder to breathe. Mayoi was terrified of how to respond. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and risk hurting Tatsumi even more. Mayoi didn't think Tatsumi was a burden at all, he didn't think he was a bad person or that he needed to repent for his sins... He didn't have ill intentions when he did the things he did, right? And even if he did, that wasn't the Tatsumi-san that existed right now, that wasn't the Tatsumi-san he knew. But if Mayoi said that, _would he hurt Tatsumi even more? Would Tatsumi think he's lying? Would he just laugh it off and not take it seriously?_

Mayoi--having no words to say, wrapped his arms around Tatsumi and squeezed him tight. He just wanted Tatsumi's pain to go away, he just wanted him to be happy he didn't want to see Tatsumi cry anymore...   
Tatsumi returned the embrace and once again buried his face into Mayois shoulder. Mayoi was so warm, and Tatsumi felt safe in his arms.   
.  
.  
.

For a moment time seemed to stand still. Tatsumi felt a little better after getting what he's bottled-up for so long off his chest. His breathing was steady and calm, he was relaxed and felt like he could fall asleep right then and there in Mayois arms. 

Mayoi was twining little braids in Tatsumi's hair--that calmed the both of them down. 

"Are you braiding my hair?" Tatsumi giggled. 

Mayoi felt his face heating up, as if he had just been caught doing something so horribly embarrassing, "Ah yes! Um I-I'm sorry I should have asked..."

Tatsumi smiled against Mayois shoulder "I like it alot though. It’s really soothing. You never have to ask, Mayoi-san." 

_He's adorable,_ Tatsumi thought to himself. 

Mayoi smiled, "Y-your hair is really pretty, Tatsumi-san. You're so beautiful..." 

"Fufu it’s too bad it’s not long enough to do a proper braid like yours. Maybe I'll grow it out so you can braid it more." 

Mayoi went red from ear-to-ear and retreated back to Tatsumi's shoulder in embarrassment.  
.  
.  
.  
Mayoi was starting to feel drowsy and he figured Tatsumi must be too, having just gone through such an intense swing of emotions. 

"Are you feeling tired?" Mayoi asked.

Tatsumi just nodded his head against Mayois shoulder. 

"Do you want to lay down?"

Again, Tatsumi just nodded. 

After a moment of silence he eventually let go of Mayoi to allow him to pull back the sheets and prepare two pillows for them. After setting up the bed and throwing off his socks, he beckoned Tatsumi over. Once he found himself in Mayois arms, Mayoi pulled the covers over them and slung an arm around Tatsumi.

"Comfy?" Mayoi asked.

"Mm..." Tatsumi responded with a low hum as he buried his head into Mayois chest. He could hear Mayois rhythmic heartbeat, it made him feel even more drowsy and relaxed. 

Mayoi brought his hand up to the side of Tatsumi's face to the strands of hair that had gotten stuck to his cheek.   
"I don't think you're a burden at all Tatsumi-san…" After tucking the still-wet-hair-stands behind his ear, Mayoi’s hand made its way to the top of Tatsumi's head to pet soothing strokes through his green locks.

Tatsumi felt somewhat embarrassed to have Mayoi see him in such a state, and then have Mayoi have to coddle him. But he needed this so bad, he needed to let go what he's kept pent up inside him for so long, and there wasn't a single person he felt more comfortable sharing it with than Mayoi. He was so warm and made Tatsumi feel so at ease, just being held like this by him was immensely therapeutic.

"I actually think Tatsumi-san is quite wonderful."

Tatsumi could feel his cheeks heating up again. But not because he was about to cry.

Mayois' hand never ceased stroking his hair. "The Tatsumi-san I know is considerate, and nice, and talented…" Tatsumi felt butterflies in his stomach and he couldn’t help but make a huge stupid smile against mayois chest.

Mayoi could feel his own heart fluttering. "Just being with you makes me so very happy... I-I really-" luckily Mayoi stopped himself before he said, _’I love you’_ , out loud. 

Tatsumi seemed to notice and took it as an opportunity to slightly tease Mayoi, "Fufu I really what?" He pulled his head away to look at Mayoi with a playful smile. This alone was so radiant, Mayoi felt like he could be reduced to ashes. 

Mayois face was flushed red and he instinctively turned his head away in embarrassment. "Ah I um… I really do… feel so so h-happy when I'm with you…" 

That answer seemed to satisfy Tatsumi. He knew what Mayoi meant.   
He chuckled and nuzzled his head back into his chest. In return Mayoi gingerly wrapped his arms around Tatsumi's frame and held him close. Tatsumi felt so warm and cozy in Mayois arms. Maybe it wasn't fair of him to have Mayoi coddle him, but maybe today he could be just a little selfish and revel in his unit-mates' affection. 

“Fufu. I love you too Mayoi-san. Thank you… I really do love you.” 

Mayoi went even redder and felt like his heart was doing flips in his chest! His heartbeat was so loud Tatsumi could probably hear it. He felt guilty for being so happy after what just happened to Tatsumi, but decided if him being happy made Tatsumi happy, he must be helping in _some_ way.   
He squeezed Tatsumi tighter as he buried his face in Tatsumi's hair. It was sometimes scary how well Tatsumi understood him, but he was so very happy he did. He was one of the only people in the world who did... 

After a while, Tatsumi fell asleep to the feeling of Mayoi combing the braids out of Tatsumi's hair so gently he never tugged, and the sound of his gentle heartbeat. 

They could only nap for a little bit before Hiiro and Aira got home but Mayoi wanted this bliss to last forever and ever. 

"Goodnight, Tatsumi-san..." Mayoi whispered, before planting a chaste peck on the top of his head.

**Author's Note:**

> and then Hiiro and Aira come home and they all make dinner together and Tatsumi is feeling so much better and he remembers how much he loves and cares about his precious family :) 
> 
> especially Mayoi :)))))))


End file.
